Dear Body,

Dear Body,

You have been good to me. You were born big, as if you already knew there would be times when we would go hungry. Times when we would draw on our own reserves to make it through.

You should have been broken long ago. Broken by grief and neglect and hunger. Broken by hands too skilled in hurt to leave scars and those who took what was never offered. But the only marks left now are those of sustenance. Stretch marks that spread across your shoulders and slide down your sides. Like maybe our skin never thought we could make it this far.

You made room for me. Me who was never meant to make it to woman. Never meant to fill out the curves you created for me. I remember you, three years old and fingerprint bruised. Remember how he nearly fractured your girl jaw with his grip. You let me sink deep inside of you. So deep it looked like leaving. You absorbed what I couldn’t and still kept fighting. Even when fighting just meant staying still.

I can still feel that little girl. I see her in the mirror when I look at you. I see her childlike defiance and your will to live. They are foundation for the woman you let me grow into. And when I look at us now I see green eyes that shine with knowing. I see shoulders strong from holding horror and cradling joy. I see breasts and thighs that let me know we were made for loving. I see fat that tells me that we are, and always have been, abundant.

I wish there were another word for grateful. One that could hold the weight of all the holding you’ve done. One that could come close to thanking you. A word capable of conveying the respect and awe and profound appreciation I have for you. Perhaps that word is love.

You, sweet body, have showed me how to open in all the sacred ways. You showed me how healing comes from connection. How grace only shows itself in flaws. Because your skin has stretched to show what once was raw and lacking but now those marks sing only of survival.

You, dear body. You are the love of my life. Together we are whole. Together we are living.

With all of me. Always.

Blyth


Photo Courtesy of Shameless Photography